Little one, are you listening?
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 10:32AM
My Tuesday Tip: I always laugh to myself at the thought of posting parenting tips. I'm a momma of a 3 & 5 year old so I'm just learning myself what works and doesn't work in our family.
One thing I've had to deal with as of late.....my 5 year old tuning me out. I know, this IS age appropriate. I guess by age 5 they have heard enough of our nagging gentle guidance and have decided maybe that "if I ignore mommy, maybe she'll go away." I've been reading a lot of different advice/methods on this subject across the board, from all different "styles" of parenting.
This is what we've decided to do to turn our little ones ears back on....see if these tips work for you? Maybe, maybe not. But I encourage you to find what does....the nagging gentle guidance might not be working anymore.
1) When we are out in public, my 5 year old loves to stretch her wings and my patience. At age 5 little ones gain a great amount of independence. She loves to walk a bit ahead of me and her sister. I don't mind and I like to give her the freedom of not clinging on to mom because believe me up until age 4, she was a clinger. She didn't really leave my side. It's fun for me to watch her grow into a strong, opinionated little girl. Yet when it becomes a safety issue; I draw the line.
This is what it looks like: We are walking in the mall and she gets further away from me then I feel comfortable with. I used to say, "too far" or "red light" or "stop, not safe" and it worked until age 5. Now she gets a bit further away and I feel like I have to run up to her, raise my voice do something to get her attention. This just makes her feel embarrassed and well me too, at times.
Tip for getting them to listen in public: When my daughter gets to that unsafe distance. I say, "freeze buttercup" she laughs, turns around and gives me a big smile, comes on over and holds my hand or at least walks beside me and her 3 year old sister. We laugh instead of getting frustrated. We can go on with our day knowing we have a "special, secret code" for slowing down. It doesn't embarrass her, she's not getting in trouble. But she does listen and hear! This works at the park and everywhere else too!
Talk it over with your kids. Let them come up with their "code name." Then it becomes fun and they listen.
2) Tip # 2 for listening. Play a game at home before you get to the point of frustration when they aren't listening. When all is well and everyone is somewhat happy at home; stop and play this game. Tell your kids that you are going to practice listening. After playing this game, the kids know what to expect from you and they know what they are suppose to be doing when they hear your voice. They need to listen the first time.
The Game: Gather your children and do this one at a time. Give your child directions. "go into your room and get a small toy, then come give mom a hug." "Go touch the TV and then come give mom a high 5" "Do 3 jumping jacks and then come give mom a hug." Just play this game for a short while daily. They get the concept that when momma asks them to do something, they need to listen. It's not what you are asking, but the point being that they need to answer to your voice the first time you ask.
#2 works and helps define the house rules in a fun, playful way. We have to play this game often.....hehe
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Reader Comments (3)
These are great tips!!! It sounds silly, but when we are out in public our little code is "Pause. Stop. Rewind!" Benny comes back to me every time! LOL!!!
I love the game playing to get them to listen and I think we will start our game today!
((HUGS))
Thanks, Donna! My little guy is only 3 and he already is proficient in not listening to me. I'll try these.
This is such a great idea. I have been dealing with this a lot lately, especially when we went to the amusement park the other day.
Thank you so much for your comment on my blog mission post the other day. It's nice to meet you!