A day in the life of a Doula.....Do I need a Doula?

As a birth doula and a mother of three, I am pretty familiar with the world of pregnancy, birth and babies. And I’ve had a chance to experience each of these worlds from varying perspectives and vantage points.

I’ve been the pregnant woman, but I’ve also been the one coming alongside a pregnant woman to talk, comfort and nurture her. I’ve given birth, but I’ve also been the one squeezing the hips of another woman to help provide some comfort during her birth. I’ve had a doula attend my birth, but I’ve also attended mere stranger’s births as a doula and have also attended the births of some family members, specifically, my sister.

A lot of time I am asked if a woman would benefit from having a professional birth doula attend her birth if they already have a supportive partner, beloved family member or encouraging friend who will be in attendance.

The answer is yes. Really. YES!

There is no doubt that a loved one knows the needs, wants and expectations of the laboring woman best. No one can fill those shoes. But there is something extra that a doula is able to bring to the birth experience that is rarely contributed by a husband, mother, sister or friend. And that thing is objectivity.

Objectivity: uninfluenced by emotions or personal prejudices

A doula does not bring any personal anything into that birthing environment. Period. This is vital to create an atmosphere of acceptance and security and respect for the birthing woman. Who wants to feel like they’ve taken center stage with an audience ready and waiting during the most intensely satisfying and joyful experiences of their life? Not most.

It is vital for a woman to feel safe, secure and respected during labor and birth itself. Having the reassuring and calming presence of a doula by her side is so important in bringing all of those feelings together. A doula can look at a woman- panting, sweating and proclaiming defeat during her hardest contractions and know that she is normal and healthy and that she will be alright. This can be really rattling for a loved one to witness. No one likes to see someone they love feel distress or discomfort.

I can remember attending the birth of my younger sister’s first baby nearly two years ago. Convinced that I could remain objective, strong and unemotional about seeing my sister go through the journey of labor and birth, I showed up ready to take on the day. All of that confidence and emotional stability completely dropped when I saw my little sister pant through some of her first contractions. Despite my sister’s desires for a natural birth, I was the one who began thinking that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Did anybody know where the anesthesiologist was at that exact moment because if so get them in here pronto!!!!

I managed to quell the feelings of fear and sadness and help prompt my sister with her HypnoBirthing images and visualizations. Things were looking up. But by the time my sister was getting the urge to push, the situation went from bad to worse as I began raising my voice at the nurse because she didn’t believe that my sister was actually fully dilated (yes, already).

After all was said and done, a healthy baby girl was born, my first niece. And as it turns out, I did bring a lot to my sister’s birth experience that she feels would have been missing had I not been there (like lots of soothing words, soft touches and loads of praise over what an amazing job she was doing!).

I can honestly say that I have never experienced these negative and doubtful emotions during the times when I have attended a birth in a professional capacity for a client. It seems I can always dig deep and pull to the surface of my mind and heart the true reality and safety of the situation. Never have I doubted a client’s ability to birth a baby, been at a loss for giving the appearance of being “calm, cool and collected” or have ever shouted at a member of the nursing staff. I promise.

There is just a certain element of being positive and an unshakeable confidence in a woman that a professional birth doula can bring into the birthing environment that just might not be there in its full capacity otherwise.

I think that the woman can see this when she looks into her doula’s eyes. She can see that someone is trusting in her body’s ability to do what she knows deep down inside it can do. And this can make a world of difference.

Jill 

Find Jill at Home Grown Life