As a birth doula and a mother of three, I am pretty familiar with the world of pregnancy, birth and babies. And I’ve had a chance to experience each of these worlds from varying perspectives and vantage points.

I’ve been the pregnant woman, but I’ve also been the one coming alongside a pregnant woman to talk, comfort and nurture her. I’ve given birth, but I’ve also been the one squeezing the hips of another woman to help provide some comfort during her birth. I’ve had a doula attend my birth, but I’ve also attended mere stranger’s births as a doula and have also attended the births of some family members, specifically, my sister.

A lot of time I am asked if a woman would benefit from having a professional birth doula attend her birth if they already have a supportive partner, beloved family member or encouraging friend who will be in attendance.

The answer is yes. Really. YES!

There is no doubt that a loved one knows the needs, wants and expectations of the laboring woman best. No one can fill those shoes. But there is something extra that a doula is able to bring to the birth experience that is rarely contributed by a husband, mother, sister or friend. And that thing is objectivity.

Objectivity: uninfluenced by emotions or personal prejudices

A doula does not bring any personal anything into that birthing environment. Period. This is vital to create an atmosphere of acceptance and security and respect for the birthing woman. Who wants to feel like they’ve taken center stage with an audience ready and waiting during the most intensely satisfying and joyful experiences of their life? Not most.

It is vital for a woman to feel safe, secure and respected during labor and birth itself. Having the reassuring and calming presence of a doula by her side is so important in bringing all of those feelings together. A doula can look at a woman- panting, sweating and proclaiming defeat during her hardest contractions and know that she is normal and healthy and that she will be alright. This can be really rattling for a loved one to witness. No one likes to see someone they love feel distress or discomfort.

I can remember attending the birth of my younger sister’s first baby nearly two years ago. Convinced that I could remain objective, strong and unemotional about seeing my sister go through the journey of labor and birth, I showed up ready to take on the day. All of that confidence and emotional stability completely dropped when I saw my little sister pant through some of her first contractions. Despite my sister’s desires for a natural birth, I was the one who began thinking that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Did anybody know where the anesthesiologist was at that exact moment because if so get them in here pronto!!!!

I managed to quell the feelings of fear and sadness and help prompt my sister with her HypnoBirthing images and visualizations. Things were looking up. But by the time my sister was getting the urge to push, the situation went from bad to worse as I began raising my voice at the nurse because she didn’t believe that my sister was actually fully dilated (yes, already).

After all was said and done, a healthy baby girl was born, my first niece. And as it turns out, I did bring a lot to my sister’s birth experience that she feels would have been missing had I not been there (like lots of soothing words, soft touches and loads of praise over what an amazing job she was doing!).

I can honestly say that I have never experienced these negative and doubtful emotions during the times when I have attended a birth in a professional capacity for a client. It seems I can always dig deep and pull to the surface of my mind and heart the true reality and safety of the situation. Never have I doubted a client’s ability to birth a baby, been at a loss for giving the appearance of being “calm, cool and collected” or have ever shouted at a member of the nursing staff. I promise.

There is just a certain element of being positive and an unshakeable confidence in a woman that a professional birth doula can bring into the birthing environment that just might not be there in its full capacity otherwise.

I think that the woman can see this when she looks into her doula’s eyes. She can see that someone is trusting in her body’s ability to do what she knows deep down inside it can do. And this can make a world of difference.

It's funny how my breastfeeding difficulties have been the open door for many wonderful experiences. As some of you know, I had my first troubles with breastfeeding when Tabi was born. It was then that Heather designed the Nesting Pillow to provide the comfort and support I needed. A few years ago after the birth of my second daughter, I developed breastfeeding infections galore. I brought my "story" or complaints up at a moms group called nurture where I was attending. It was then that I was introduced to Danielle Gauss. Danielle is a breastfeeding professional and was quick to help me sort out my nursing difficulties. She gave me quick and easy ways to resolve my nursing problems, which helped me get back to a comfortable breastfeeding experience with my daughter.

Danielle is a professional labor support specialist, Labor Doula, Postpartum Doula, Lactation Counselor, Childbirth educator, CPR instructor, and author. Most importantly, Danielle is a mother who has been through the birth experience twice. She has received her education for the doula’s role from the UCSD Perinatal Education program associated through UCSD Medical School and is certified through DONA International (Doulas of North America). Danielle has been certified as a childbirth educator through Lamaze International and is currently teaching Childbirth preparation and perinatal classes at Mission Hospital.

Danielle was the first professional who came on board with us at Blessed Nest. She uses our Nesting Pillow with her clients and represented us to Saint Josephs Hospital in Orange. They now carry our Nesting Pillows in their Mother/Baby Assessment Center. We just adore her!

Danielle's philosophy:

"I believe that the birth of a child is without a doubt one of the most life changing moments in a person’s life. It is a moment that will live on in the hearts and minds of those who have experienced it. As a Labor Support Specialist, Doula, and childbirth educator it is my goal to provide expectant couples with the information necessary to make informed decisions about their childbirth experience. I believe that childbirth is a normal healthy process and that women have the ability to give birth in a way that is normal and natural for them. Although I encourage women to consider the possibility of natural childbirth, I feel that it is my job and obligation to present information about all aspects of birth including medical technology, interventions, and medications in an unbiased, comprehensive, evidence-based format. In doing so, this will provide the expectant couple with enough knowledge and information to allow them to make their own personal choices regarding their birth.

I believe that a woman’s perception of her ability and strength to give birth is greatly affected by the amount of support she is given. The more encouraged she feels the more equipped she is to have a positive birth experience. I believe a woman should have the right to give birth the way she desires, in an environment where she feels safe, nurtured, and secure and where her emotional, physical, and personal needs are met and respected. The birthing woman should also have the opportunity to receive full support for making informed decisions about what is best for her and her baby based on their individual beliefs and values. I also believe that babies are sensitive, aware human beings and should be acknowledged and treated respectfully at the time of birth.

Pregnancy and birth are milestone events in a woman’s life. The childbirth experience, whether it be positive or negative, will greatly affect the woman, her partner, and their child. It is my goal to provide the means necessary to help these couples create the positive experience they so deeply desire."

You can find Danielle at Socal Births.com Southern California Labor Support

Thank you Danielle for all the support you have given and your time. You have truly nurtured us at Blessed Nest.

I first heard about doulas nearly six years ago as I prepared for the birth of my second child. A dear friend of mine was working to become a certified birth doula through DONA (Doulas of North America- www.DONA.org) and was required to attend three births as part of earning her certification. After I heard about the role that a doula played in the birth experience and about the skill and sensitivity that she brought to the birth experience, I was more than thrilled to invite my friend to attend my birth.

Needless to say, it was a day I will never forget. I walked away from the birth of my son feeling strong, confident and reassured that I could face anything that life sent my way. I can still hear the gentle voice of my doula saying, “You can do. You are doing it. “ to this day. I took this message of “I can do it” with me back home as I set out to tackle the challenges and joys of breastfeeding my new baby, mothering my toddler daughter and creating a positive and happy environment for my husband and I.

After experiencing first-hand the benefits that a doula offered, I became interested in entering the profession myself. I am a nurturer by nature and have always felt called to support those whom I loved through the journey of pregnancy, birth and parenting. Becoming a doula felt like a natural progression of who I was already and of the journey that I had started on. I have been serving as a professional birth doula for nearly five years now and am continually amazed and in awe at the strength of mind, body and spirit that lie within each laboring woman.

Some of the more specific ways that I have served as a birth doula are…

*tying a woman's hair back as she is contracting

*spooning ice chips to a woman to cool her down

*holding a cold cloth on a forehead, neck, back or anywhere else that is overheated

*stabilizing a birthing ball with my legs/knees so that the woman is free to move, rock and sway during her contractions

*massaging a neck, back, arm, foot or leg

*getting face-to-face with a woman and telling her that she is safe, that she is not alone and that she is so strong

*having the ability to contort my body to fit in between bed rails, IV poles, monitors and stools in order to be physically close to a woman

*squeezing a woman's hips with all my might to help alleviate back pressure and pain

*gently suggesting position changes to a woman without being irritating or bossy

*being able to support any decision made by a couple about their birth or baby, regardless if it is what I would choose for my own family

*helping to hold food and offer it to a woman bite for bite

*helping a woman learn to cradle and nurse her baby and tell her that she will learn the art of breastfeeding

*taking photos of baby, mother and father

*putting my own needs on hold and remaining with a couple continuously until the birth of their baby

And so many, many more acts of servitude and support!

Several years have passed since the births of my three children, and yet as I recall my feelings surrounding their births, they are as real and vivid today as they were then. Giving birth is one of the most sensitive, sacred and soul-rattling moments that a woman can experience. And being part of other women’s birth experiences as a doula still brings me to that place of awe and wonder.

Today's Post written by Jill

Find Jill everyday at Home Grown Life

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Today's Post written by Jill our new guest writer!

I am so excited to have Jill  as a member of our team and family here at Blessed Nest. She will be a guest writer on the topic of nurturing and her life as a Doula.

Birth. It is a day that a woman will remember for the rest of her life. The birth of each baby can have a lasting impact on the mental and physical health of a woman, her baby and the family as a unit. Giving birth is an experience that has the power to bring about a newfound sense of satisfaction and confidence within each woman and in her ability to give her best to her new baby, her family and to the world around her. It’s no wonder that there is a profession of specially trained and nurturing women out there to help support a woman through one of the most intense and amazing experiences of her lifetime.

Doulas have been around for centuries and are most poignantly described as “the woman beside the mother”. Doulas are responsible for providing physical and emotional support to women and their partners during labor and birth. She may offer advice on comfort measures such as suggesting different laboring positions, help with guided imagery to help the laboring women relax and physically touch and massage the woman to provide comfort. Doulas are also responsible for providing informational support so that the laboring couple can feel confident in making the best possible decisions about the birth process.

A doula provides continuous emotional support and comfort to the laboring woman during the birth and typically stays with the family for several hours afterwards to help support a woman in breastfeeding her baby and to help the new family bond. A doula aims to foster the relationship between the woman and her partner and to create a sense of empowerment for both parties as they work together to bring their baby into the world. She is a servant to the laboring woman and never does she project her own values, beliefs, criticisms or preconceived notions about birth onto the birthing woman or her partner.

There are no rules when it comes to childbirth, so a doula must always be prepared to serve in any way needed. . Although she plays many roles, a doula is not expected to “be all” to every woman. Since each woman and each birth are so unique and special she must know how to find her niche in that birthing environment. She must have the ability to enter a most-personal setting and yet, never become an "intruder".

Many times a doula has to change the intensity of her guidance and the degree to which she is involved during the birth based on the woman’s needs. She cannot allow her own ego or emotions to take center stage during the birth. At times she may have to simply be present and not necessarily be doing. It is crucial for a doula to know intuitively when to touch, when to speak and when to simply just be. Each doula must find in herself her own confidence and trust in her ability to lovingly be the “woman beside the mother”.

find Jill at Home Grown Life

Thank you Jill. You are such a wonderful edition to our family!

Love, to the moon and back

Heather, Isabelle & Donna

Mama Kim.......A mama,doula,auntie,encourager and friend of Blessed Nest

Heather and I had the privilege of meeting  Kim last year at the ILCA ( international lactation consultant conference.) Kim is filled with love for what she does. I love the vision ,love and hope she has for all women. Kim truly nurtures women around the world....and especially in her home town Los Angeles CA where she works as a doula, lactation consultant and soon to be Mid-Wife! 

• ABOUT KIM:

Recently, I had a chance to be interviewed by Keb’ Mo', a very awesome blues musician, for his web site Kebmo.com And guess what? The name of his show is “The Kitchen”-(do we have a theme going on here or what?!!?) So it was like “The Crone’s Kitchen in Keb' Mo’s Kitchen” FIERCE!

No, I am not in the music biz, (yet!) He wanted to interview me to learn more about what I do as a Doula and Lactation Consultant. He and his wife have a beautiful 6 month old son, and Keb' has an older son (almost 20!) as well.

Robbie experienced a natural birth in the hospital surrounded by her husband, her friend, (the OB) and her other friend (a midwife). They also had a great Postpartum doula whom they said they could not have lived without. Talk about support! Robbie and Keb' went through about 12 hours of labor and overall found their experience to be life changing, powerful and transformative.

Keb' is doing this video/web blog thing as a way to raise social consciousness and give back to the community. Disappointed with what he sees on TV he has decided to make a difference by creating his own positive, progressive programming.
ANYWAY,

That got me to thinking, about being a so-called “Doula” and what that means to me, and what I think it means to others...

I did not become a Doula because I wanted to be around birth. I mean, I learned a lot from my own birth experiences which were a c-section first and then a homebirth with my second. But, I never had the desire to be at someone else’s birth.

Helping women with breastfeeding, though, was something that came natural to me, I don’t know why. People saw that I breastfed my kids, then they wanted to do it to, so I would help them out. I held breastfeeding support group meetings at my house in Brooklyn, and was surrounded by pregnant and nursing mothers.

The Doula thing happened when folks started asking me to come to their births. I really didn’t want to go, but my friends just kept asking me. I was not interested in seeing all the bodily fluids and “stuff” that happens in birth. I was thinking, “No Way!”

Yet after attending a few births, I noticed that I was completely relaxed with the birth process and really enjoyed the type of vibrational field that birth energy created. It’s so powerful and healing, and if you open yourself to it, everyone that witnesses it can float on that gorgeous energy for sometime. Best of all, the mom gets the highest of all, especially when the birth process goes well; she begins to feel her power as a woman to its fullest extent.

That’s really how I got started in this business. I’ve had training and lots of experience now, but I have never found the need to become certified under one organization or another, as I try and blend all things and really just listen to what the woman who is going to be doing the birthing feels she needs, and I try and make that happen

A lot of being a Doula is “holding the space” for the birthing woman, father, and (let’s not forget) the baby that’s on its way! This act of witnessing and compassion creates a pure field of love for these new souls to enter peacefully, where Mom and Dad feel relaxed and supported.
I am honored by each and every one of the families that have invited me into their lives, their hearts, and their most sanctified moments, the birth of their children. And through my spiritual work, I am beginning to understand this work as a calling and a ministry.
Going forward, I see more women in society being trained to be Doulas for each other. This is a way to build trust between women and help strengthen the bonds of love and community in ALL.
A big “Thank you” Mama Josie for thinking of me and hooking me up with your sweet friend, Keb and his beautiful wife and baby boy!

• Thank you Kim!

Love, to the moon and back

Heather, Isabelle and Donna